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Me, Me, Me |
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Welcome to my home-on-the-web. My intention in doing this page, other than some degree of vanity, is to act as a source for information of interest to the bear community (which we've all discovered is very large on the web). In addition, there are poly sites on the web, and so I've included some of that information as well, for those who are interested. In my opinion, the best personal websites give you a feeling that you have met the person, and know a bit about their lives, and loves, and what they're about. I'll try to be as honest as possible : ) Here's a bit about me, for starters:
Oh, and I'm working out when I can (though my recently new job adds some complication with the schedule!) Very excited about that 'cause I'm able to start realizing the goals I've had (as far as my physical body that is).
I can't really remember when the first time I thought I was gay occurred. It seems like I've been gay all my life. Even in junior high school, I wasn't really into girls. I came out "formally" when I was about 20 years old. I was working at my parent's store, and had been thinking about telling them. That afternoon on the radio, Dianna Ross's song "I'm Coming Out" started playing (it was 1980, remember!) and I said, "o.k. time to do it." My parents and brothers were all o.k. about it, and apparently not tooo surprised. hmmmm. I've been an "out if you ask or see" gay man here in the same city ever since. Physically, I tend to be attracted to masculine, guys (usually with some kind of facial hair) who take care of themselves. Though not absolutely necessary that he be "built", I wouldn't complain, either : ) The funny thing about "types" is that although what I said above is true, I think we all have been attracted to people from time to time that don't necessarily fit our "types". It might, superficially be the person's appearance that I notice initially. However, I find that it's the energy of the person, their genuine-ness and imagination that holds my attention.
The people who have known me for the years since I came out would say that I was the "last person" they'd expect to get into a polyamorous relationship. I had always had a fairly traditional upbringing, other than the exceptionally accepting and supportive family, and therefore hadn't considered "more than one". I have known my spouse and his husband for about 15 years (in the usual "know 'em to see em" way), and hadn't known a lot about their relationship, or what they were interested in. It turns out that the first date they had with me, was a "coffee date" and maybe an opportunity to fool around with me. But, things clicked, and they were enamored with me. The same went for me. So, we started getting together for subsequent dates, and activities, and basically started dating. For me, the biggest thing to get used to was communicating a lot more than I had traditionally done. When there are more than two people in a relationship, you have to talk about everything. Though it hasn't worked out between Brett and I, I'm still in the house and am deeply in love with Troy, and our relationship is growing stronger every day. It's just over 8 years now, and I can't believe how much stuff has been packed into those years! The Latest!Here I am, the moderator of the Yahoo! group GayPolyamory. Although I'm involved with one man, it makes me indirectly involved with another - his husband. If you're interested in learning more about poly stuff, and maybe discussing and sharing, you might want to consider visiting or joining.
 Click to subscribe to gaypolyamory A few of the people that said to me "gee, you see that poly relationships don't work?" or the usual "open relationships don't work. I think that any kind of relationship can work, except dishonest ones. At any rate, ... " all I can say is that it wasn't "poly" stuff that contributed to Brett and I not working out. There are more things to relationships than the kind of "dynamic" they're made of. They include communication, honesty, faith, among many others. If you're in a relationship like this, I'd welcome any feedback or ideas and experiences you might have. Otherwise, here will be some irregularly "posted" journal entries:
Troy any my relationship has been going strong for quite a while now, and we've been sharing a lot and learning more about each other, even though we're already in our 9th year! Amazing how you can keep on learning about someone no matter how long you've been together. We enjoy meeting other men for coffee, hanging out, and spending time with. Our relationship is open, with us as a couple, and we're exploring that side of ourselves. more to come . . .
When I first came out I had a full beard, and have had some form of facial hair ever since. What I hadn't expected, was that we would become our own "subculture - within - a - subculture". I have always seemed to be attracted to burly hairy guys, but didn't know that it was anything other than the norm. I did know that masculine, hairy men held my attention, and that I was attracted to them, and am glad to see that so many resources and groups have been springing up. Hairy, muscular or stocky guys are sure to catch my attention. As it happens...wait for it....I also have a Yahoo Group for that as well :o) Albertabears. I have always socialized with guys with a similar interest. I have never enjoyed the idea that as soon as you identify with a group, you need to join and help a group "promote public awareness", and "do shows", etc. I just like to socialize, and informally interact with other bears. Don't need a "president", or "treasurer", though, to hang out with new (and old) friends, and chat, do movies, swim, etc. |
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